150.

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and gone
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But Still no word from you

I keep telling myself that I'm over you and that I'm ready to face you anytime. I keep on telling myself that I'm not in love with you anymore, that I don't really like you. I keep on telling myself that I don't deserve you, that there's someone better. I keep on telling myself that I shall let go of you. Yet, all these things are part of an everyday cycle that unfortunately ends up with being in love with you all over again.

This sucks, until now, i was still hoping that my phone would rang & it was from you. I pray and make a wish everyday, and i was hoping we could go back to the time that you still love me. Maybe i shouldnt expect so much, but I really need something to believe in. I still believe that you would text me and come back to me. But if you really wanna let go, could you hug me tightly before you leave?! that's the only thing i would be hopping for so far, but still, i wish you would come back to me. I'm learning how to fake smile, but i wanna be truely happy, but i can't. I need help, I don't wanna stay at home and face those thing that makes me cry. I was crying for 3 days already, no jokes )':
"There were things I wanted to tell you. But I knew they would hurt you, so I buried them, and them hurt me."

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it’s like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can just fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you’re ready to let it all end. Trust me. I know exactly how it feels.

Does it really have to be this way?

No matter what,
I will be waiting for you.
I love you,
& I'm not lying.